Here’s to control freaks

I have been thinking a lot about people with control need recently. I understood one thing: their minds are great. They are fast. Their thoughts shift from wishes and ideas to worries, from past to future, from here to there. Very fast. There is incredibly much energy in those brains. Wild horses. They compensate the inability to master the whirlpool of their thoughts with the need to control at least the outside. To tidy, to order, to plan, to do stuff all the time. This ability can be very useful and appreciated not least for certain (most of the) jobs. It’s good to take care of it and sustain it. It can be an advantage to carry such a mind. But very often it is not. It frustrates, it bothers, it causes sleepless nights and days full of worries, it brings anxiety, it distracts and the only moments keeping one sane are those of some kind of control over the external happenings. Pseudo-peace.

The thing is that to me the “problem” is not solved by plans and order or by doing something all the time or by switching the mind off by staring into the TV. It’s a temporary solution bringing no peace as it is impossible to control everything in the outside world. There will always be something or someone new coming. The variety of possible alternatives for developments of each situation is endless.

Have you ever talked to a friend? A friend, you can ask everything. And you also tolerate a friend more than others. For a friend you have understanding. And patience. A friend you could take everywhere with you. You are honest to a friend. It’s easier to be open minded with a friend. A friend, you trust. A friend makes you feel free. A friend is there for you and you are there for a friend.

Make friends with your mind. With your thoughts. They appear for a reason. No no… do not say “but” and ask “why” instead. You can ask why and find honest answers. As they come from within. The answers are also there. Blaming others or the past is never the final answer. Dig deeper.

You can take your time with your mind and thoughts. You can just let them be as you would let your friend just be, if needed.

Trying to block a thought, you know it will be there anyway. And it will come back. It is better to let it in and understand where it comes from instead of fighting it. When you understand it, you can do something about it or you will find out that there is no need to act upon it.

Your mind will make you feel free when you accept it with all its fabulosity, imagination, variety and alterations. And learn to harvest them instead. The weaknesses will become your strengths.

Another aspect of it all is another choice we can make. All the thoughts that we have come from what we know, experience, see and hear through our own filter. Imagine how much we see, hear, experience and know and how little of it we run through our mind. What do you choose? And how? Does it make you feel good?

This one is to you my dear dear control freaks. Your minds are so powerful! And you can choose between fighting the external Quijote fight with new and new things to control or make friends with its energy to create and develop.

 

Stockholm by night

I like Stockholm. There is something special about the city. It is so calm and there is so much happening. I think the water makes it very still, very peaceful. The reflections in the water make me wanna reflect on what’s going on in my mind. The paths around make me wanna take a walk and just wander and let my thoughts wander. And the sound of Stockholm brings me back. The city demonstrates itself in its noises and voices. Cars, trains, buses, planes on the move all the time across the stillness.

On the past or thanks for this blog Emmanuel Jal

I have been at home (in Slovakia) these days and several times I’ve encountered various situations all with the same denominator. Past! And you know, I can tell you, I am a bit bothered by the way we treat our past. We treat it as something sacred and determinable.

I have heard many times that it is good to know the history to learn and avoid mistakes and I take it. Definitely. But if it starts generating fear and worries and what is worse if it preventively generates protective behavior that often leads to harming others or oneself – then knowing the past is not useful whatsoever.

We, human beings, like to cling on past. It’s our safety net. It’s something that often justifies our actions. It’s something we build our identity on that in turn leads either to shame or pride. And for that I lack understanding. Why to be ashamed for someone or because of someone who was born in the same area as I just 1000 years ago and happened to take a very bad decision. I have nothing to do with that dude. As I do not have anything to do with another dude who invented something spectacular and was born just 100 km from the place my parents happened to settle down and start their family.  

This blog is initiated by a FB status update of Emmanuel Jal, an artist, human rights activist and former child soldier. I have seen his performance at TED and he got my attention right away. A smart guy spreading a very nice message through art of music.

His FB status says following: 

“The worst thing that happen to Africa its, not Colonialism ,slavery ,resources being looted or Genocides but the stolen history. They Said King TuT DNA is European, But the same DNA is in Africa too.. It could be true , since egypt was invaded by different kingdoms..what about king Targah is his DNA European too ? for people to gain confident to move forward history is important”

 

And I ask: What does it matter? What does it matter that a king was African, that Napoleon was French, that Nelson Mandela comes from South Africa or Mother Theresa was Albanian (some would argue here). Why do we have such a huge need to “own” those guys? Their actions mattered and have consequences even today but their origin could not matter less.

I was born in Slovakia but I do not feel like Slovak. I do not know how it feels like. Some could argue that I should thank Slovakia for who I am. For the education I got, for the possibilities I had in life. But I do not thank Slovakia because not everyone born in Slovakia had the same chances as I had thus it has nothing to do with the state. I am thankful to the people who were and have been in my life and formed it, gave me chances and trusted me.

The sport successes of Slovak athletes do not make me a better person. The Nobel peace price of the EU does not automatically turn all the EU citizens into dove of peace either.

If we do not stick to our national/continental/racial etc identities, it’s less probable that we will feel hurt if someone “attacks” them or tries to take parts of them away. 

So I ask. And what? What does it change in our life to learn that Tutankhamun was European? To me it means nothing. And my day won’t get brighter tomorrow because of that. 

What would happen if someone told me that Milan Rastislav Stefanik (you pick a name of a “significant” personality and replace it) was Polish? Or that Bono has slovak blood circulating in his body. You get my point right?

To know the history to understand how something has developed is great but if we find out that the history we learnt is different, it is OK because it won’t change the present moment anyway. It’s ourselves who can change the present. We often don’t, because we like “It’s always been like that” even when we are not happy with that. It’s often safer to struggle through a day knowing what will happen than start anew clueless about the next hour. But I think that we create our new past every single new second of our lives, which means, we can form it and change it and we can break free from the past that hunts us or that makes us going through the life on an autopilot. That way we do not need to feed our egos with the past of others. We can walk free from that and build our identity on our own actions instead. Our own actions that we know we can live in peace with.

 

 

 

Life is not short at all

It was my birthday recently and it was a wonderful day. I have spent it surrounded by people I love! Not all of them were at the same place as I was but they were with me in one way or another and I know it. It was a usual beautiful day.  Dear dear family, friends and acquaintances – THANK YOU for this day – for every single message and thought – they are written in my soul now.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – insight that each day I can love more than I did yesterday. And I celebrated it by being close to the closest one though he is so far away these days.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – friendship. And to celebrate the friendship I got to spent the day with a friend.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – love for running. And to celebrate it I went running on my birthday morning with my friend.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – new job. And I celebrated it by going to work and do what I love and believe in.

This year I have been give a wonderful present – inspiration. And I celebrated it by turning it into a concrete action.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – dreams. And I celebrated it by going to a musical where the dreams were nourished by amazement.

With my birthday yet another wonderful year has started and the kick off “party” included Cirkus Cirkör – the waterfall of creativity, playfulness, self-distance, perfection, art, beauty and wisdom.

Here is one song from the performance:

What to do with all this
time I have been given
all the opportunites?
I want to feel all
I can start all over
pack my belongings and
get on a train go somewhere else
I want to see all

But life isn’t short at all
I´ll get back on my feet if I fall
If i start looking the world isn´t small
Life isn´t short at all

The skies have shapes of strange
objects and animals
The sound of the ice melting
on the first day of spring
A pair of brand new red shoes
soaking in the rain
I´m perfectly drunk and calm
I want to be right here

´Cause life isn´t short at all

I have lived for 13 000 days
All the people i´ve meet on my way
All the billions moments i´ve felt joy
Not to mention all the times i´ve fallen in love

Stockholm in october 2012

I have spent this day taking pictures which has also led me to cleaning my memory card and sorting out some older pics. I realized that I have collected some nice pics of Stockholm during October month so here are some:

Photography homework – desktop picture

I am sitting here just done with my photo homework, which was to take a desktop picture. I started with lots of enthusiasm which was quickly replaced by frustration over not getting the picture from my mind into my camera. After trying different angles, lightning and backgrounds I dropped the idea and looked around for new motives. As soon as I turned around, new photo opportunities opened and I took pics of flowers, shadows, honey, night sky… Here are the pictures I took while listing to this beautiful music of Ludovico Einaudi:

Back to photography

Today is the second day of my photo course and I have just finished my homework, which was to take a portrait or self-portrait picture. When I came home yesterday it was already dark so I decided to wait for the day light and take some pics this morning instead. And as the only person around this morning is me, I had to take a picture of myself. And a result:

How to fit 1/4

How to fit 2/4

How to fit 3/4

How to fit 4/4 …with a little distance

Two equations of the day

My collegue has exposed this picture in the office and as I am familiar with his sense of humour and the way of his thinking, I was neither shocked nor terrified but the sentece made thinking a lot. “Don’t work hard, work intelligent”.

I have no problem with the second part of the sentence! One should work smart, of course! I say “Bravo!, to all those using brain when working. The first part of the sentence was more of a concern. “Don’t work hard”.  Yes, if you can do something easy way, do it that way! And do not make something hard on you just to work hard and feel satisfaction that you have done something. But that, those examples, they are not examples of “hard work” to me. They are more of an example of doing something too complicated even when it’s not. Or it’s just doing something without thinking about it.

Working hard, for me, means putting heart into the work. Being aware of what I do and why. Leaving my footprint (soulprint) in the work. Or as Oxford dictionary says: “Hard working = tending to work with energy and commitment; diligent”. And in that case, I do not understand why would someone encourage people not to work hard. And why does the author of the statememnt opose those two: hard and intelligent?

While discussing the message with my collegues, I made a new picture:

2 equations of the day

Hard work = heart ❤ work

Hard work is not complicated, long, overtime, dumb. No. It’s work with heart.

And while thinking about it and drawing it, I came to another equation that expresses what I feel when I hear people saying “but, but, but…” just oposing something without trying to find better ways/ solutions and more importantly also act upon them. Seeing problems but not to search for solutions, negating whatever is said without trying and putting more energy into “but” towards other’s ideas than into doing or coming up with a better idea, that is pretty much waste of energy.

Too much but = butt

Elizabeth Gilbert – quotes from Eat, Pray, Love_part I

When reading the book, besides the content, I am enjoying Elizabeth Gilbert’s playful descriptive approach when laying one word next to another:

My heart skipped out a beat and then flat out tripped over itself and fell on its face. Then my heart stood up, brushed itself off, took deep breath and announced: I want a spiritual teacher

Blog after a good day

It happens to me pretty often that I feel for writing something – either here or in other channels available but then I don’t. One reason is simply time. Another reason is that I run my thoughts through internal censure and dismiss them mostly cause they do not sound that appealing after some rethinking. Today is different. I feel that I will just write even though I don’t have anything huge to share. Huge for others. For me, the current feeling is huge. For small reasons. Like a friendly encounter. Moment of creation for someone dear to me. A nice song (playing round and round). A walk with Dante in the middle of the night. Dancing while walking (yes to the same song). Finding words of wisdom.

The feeling of liking someone that pure and unconditional way, that the only expression of that feeling is to give freedom to the person by not expecting anything in return, wishing only the best not involving myself in it necessarily.

I finished a video for which I recorded material one month ago. I enjoyed every second of making the video. It’s amazing how many details are recorded and I was witness of without noticing them. This video is a present and I hope it will help to recall magic moments also many years later. It’s a video of a wedding. Making this video I realized what’s so special about weddings (I have never been very keen on having a wedding). It’s a wonderful celebration where only love is present and everyone celebrates it. Nothing else matters for some hours. The two people who decided to honor their relationship by inviting others and letting them witness the promise of endless care for that fragile feeling that when taken care of can grow stronger and greater far beyond the borders of the two individuals.

Ok I can share the song: 

I looove the melody and the dynamics of the song. It’s a great one to jump to (also in the middle of the night outside while walking Dante).

And here we go with the words of wisdom – a perfect summary for an approach to life that will make it good.

Basic rules for being human