Here’s to control freaks

4 01 2013

I have been thinking a lot about people with control need recently. I understood one thing: their minds are great. They are fast. Their thoughts shift from wishes and ideas to worries, from past to future, from here to there. Very fast. There is incredibly much energy in those brains. Wild horses. They compensate the inability to master the whirlpool of their thoughts with the need to control at least the outside. To tidy, to order, to plan, to do stuff all the time. This ability can be very useful and appreciated not least for certain (most of the) jobs. It’s good to take care of it and sustain it. It can be an advantage to carry such a mind. But very often it is not. It frustrates, it bothers, it causes sleepless nights and days full of worries, it brings anxiety, it distracts and the only moments keeping one sane are those of some kind of control over the external happenings. Pseudo-peace.

The thing is that to me the “problem” is not solved by plans and order or by doing something all the time or by switching the mind off by staring into the TV. It’s a temporary solution bringing no peace as it is impossible to control everything in the outside world. There will always be something or someone new coming. The variety of possible alternatives for developments of each situation is endless.

Have you ever talked to a friend? A friend, you can ask everything. And you also tolerate a friend more than others. For a friend you have understanding. And patience. A friend you could take everywhere with you. You are honest to a friend. It’s easier to be open minded with a friend. A friend, you trust. A friend makes you feel free. A friend is there for you and you are there for a friend.

Make friends with your mind. With your thoughts. They appear for a reason. No no… do not say “but” and ask “why” instead. You can ask why and find honest answers. As they come from within. The answers are also there. Blaming others or the past is never the final answer. Dig deeper.

You can take your time with your mind and thoughts. You can just let them be as you would let your friend just be, if needed.

Trying to block a thought, you know it will be there anyway. And it will come back. It is better to let it in and understand where it comes from instead of fighting it. When you understand it, you can do something about it or you will find out that there is no need to act upon it.

Your mind will make you feel free when you accept it with all its fabulosity, imagination, variety and alterations. And learn to harvest them instead. The weaknesses will become your strengths.

Another aspect of it all is another choice we can make. All the thoughts that we have come from what we know, experience, see and hear through our own filter. Imagine how much we see, hear, experience and know and how little of it we run through our mind. What do you choose? And how? Does it make you feel good?

This one is to you my dear dear control freaks. Your minds are so powerful! And you can choose between fighting the external Quijote fight with new and new things to control or make friends with its energy to create and develop.


Life is not short at all

25 11 2012

It was my birthday recently and it was a wonderful day. I have spent it surrounded by people I love! Not all of them were at the same place as I was but they were with me in one way or another and I know it. It was a usual beautiful day.  Dear dear family, friends and acquaintances – THANK YOU for this day – for every single message and thought – they are written in my soul now.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – insight that each day I can love more than I did yesterday. And I celebrated it by being close to the closest one though he is so far away these days.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – friendship. And to celebrate the friendship I got to spent the day with a friend.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – love for running. And to celebrate it I went running on my birthday morning with my friend.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – new job. And I celebrated it by going to work and do what I love and believe in.

This year I have been give a wonderful present – inspiration. And I celebrated it by turning it into a concrete action.

This year I have been given a wonderful present – dreams. And I celebrated it by going to a musical where the dreams were nourished by amazement.

With my birthday yet another wonderful year has started and the kick off “party” included Cirkus Cirkör – the waterfall of creativity, playfulness, self-distance, perfection, art, beauty and wisdom.

Here is one song from the performance:

What to do with all this
time I have been given
all the opportunites?
I want to feel all
I can start all over
pack my belongings and
get on a train go somewhere else
I want to see all

But life isn’t short at all
I´ll get back on my feet if I fall
If i start looking the world isn´t small
Life isn´t short at all

The skies have shapes of strange
objects and animals
The sound of the ice melting
on the first day of spring
A pair of brand new red shoes
soaking in the rain
I´m perfectly drunk and calm
I want to be right here

´Cause life isn´t short at all

I have lived for 13 000 days
All the people i´ve meet on my way
All the billions moments i´ve felt joy
Not to mention all the times i´ve fallen in love

What I’ve been up to

15 06 2010

IOGT International AC meeting, Active EC meeting, applications, reports, NOM congress, reunion from Secondary school in Slovakia, Alcohol policy update meeting, sunny and long days, Germany and Handball Champions league, some days without any internet connection, load of work at the office, finalizing the documents for the Congress, strawberries in the park, Blacksheep campaign kick off seminar, days off…

That’s approximately it since the latest blog =)

Reunion after 10 years

Reunion after 10 years

To see my school and my classmates after 10 years again was very special. I met people who belonged my main social network for 4 years. Some of them even longer – 10 years. None has changed. Even appearance of the people is almost the same. Except of some haricuts. But no major changes. We all spent 4 years – very important years of our lives together in the same environment, getting the same information and we all “grew up” our ways. There is pretty rich variety of destinies among my classmates and that gave the meeting a special spark. I enjoyed. I understood myself and I was thankful for having those people in my life when I was 14 – 18 years old.

Swedish night

Swedish night

This is how Sweden looks like in late evening/night at some places. And I simply love the atmosphere and the feeling I have when I get to experience the calmness of a fairy tale in reality. This picture was taken when I went home from Oslo after Alcohol policy update meeting. The meeting was at least as giving as seeing this beauty.

The Dome in Köln

I took holidays after really busy days. Going to Germany where I can turn off my mind completely and blame the language for not participating in what is happening around me was a good choice. This Dome stands next to the Central Station in Köln and it is the first thing that welcomes you when you leave the station building. Imagine warm summer night, being a bit tired and the view of an impressively huge building consisting of millions of details is a good sign predicting great holidays.

Opening of Handball Champions League Final 4

And this was the birthday present from Maik. Final 4 in Handball Champions league. The first one in history.  They made really good show out of it and my enthusiasm about handball is back. The game the teams played was inspiring and creative. I learnt a lot from watching them and I understood new ways of playing handball. So gimme a ball =)

Alcohol culture

There were 20 000 people in the sport hall watching handball and wherever I looked, I could see beer. Lots of drinking! I can’t see logics in connection between alcohol and sports neither when it comes to performance nor to watching the game but I know it is there. I felt like at October fest. And it was the only part of the event I did not enjoy. I did not enjoy the smell of sweat mixed with alcohol and I did not enjoy the behaviour triggered by that liquid.

Ice cream

OK after 1 day it got cold and rainy in Germany but there is such a great ice-cream place in Cottbus that I did not mind the weather at all. Chocolate icecream, lots of whipped cream and warm raspberries. Mumsi.

Strawberries for lunch

Back to Sweden. Strawberries belong to summer and they are taking more and more space in my lunch menu. These long long days with sun and strawberries are so beautiful that it hurts a little when I imagine that soon the days will start getting shorter and shorter. But still. There are many long days in front of me and I am sure the summer will be perfect.

Yes – this summer will be perfect. I am looking forward to Norway and to all the people I will meet there. This weekend I got a little pre-taste of it when we had Black sheep campaign kick-off seminar. Three days of very intensive work with representatives from 8 countries. The imput from the participants was impressive. The last night we worked till 1 a.m. That has not happened to me many times in Active yet. Knowing that the campaign is in these people’s hands I am sure it will turn out just great!!!

And..I passed the Swedish exam so now I have the paper showing that I speak the language on an OK level and am able to study in swedish =) So I hope I will =)

It´s like to find a lost friend

7 04 2008

Yes =) Today, thanks to Azalea (whom I never met) from Bosnia and Herzegovina I was found on msn by Dzenan from Serbia whom I met in Kiev in april 2006. Since then I haven´t seen him and I have heard of him very little. He added me on msn today and now we will “meet” whenever we want. He is a great designer btw =) Am happy to have him back!

PS. Big hug to Azalea!!!

A weird feeling..

6 04 2008

It is weird to say bye to people that have been part of my (almost) everyday life for four years and went with me through many many different situations. Kadri has left Örebro today for the last time as an Active board member and it just feels empty.