“One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not okay

One may think we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground with every passing day
We’re not okay”

… I agree! If we need chemicals to be able to switch off the brain and not to have daymares when closing eyes, if we can not deal with memories or stress without some promiles in our blood then something is wrong and it’s time to stop for a while.

The text comes from One Tree Hill. Original Ayn Rand.

..that sticky notes don’t lie

and that the song: Devil Archeist (Bethany Joy) is pretty good!

In todays newspaper I’ve read a short note from a study in which research discovered that culture (or where we are from) has an impact on our biological reaction. The reward system in brain reacts on different situations depending where the “owner” of the brain comes from. People in USA got rewarded by their dominant behaviour while the poeple in Japan activated the reward centre by inferior behaviour.  Brain rewards different patterns of behaviour in different cultures. Meaning (in this case)- we create what will or will not be rewarded.

When reading this, I think for myselef: ‘not really weird, since the culture teaches us how to behave and by which behaviour fit in the society’  We are encouraged to do one or another thing almost before we come to this world. I believe in social constructs and I do not take the biology for excuse. I was happy to read the article with many different examples where the biology and culture interfere. The author said: ..”we have a free will and power to choose ourselves despite our fast and automatic reactions”

Yes! We choose! We choose every minute of every day and we are responsible for the way we look at the world and what we do with it! We are not victims of either biology or culture.

I have a huge need to go home (to Slovakia) for a while and I will. I need to live my history, to meet my childhood and also my dreams I had back there in Slovakia.

I’m sitting in the bus on the way from a hanball match. We lost but we do not need to feel bad about our performance . From the time perspective it’s better to play matches at home. But it is also very nice to get some moments just for myself when sitting in the bus heading home from match we played in other town. It’s very calming to pass towns, to see how it’s getting darker and darker outiside, feel the eternity of nature, feel the atmosphere from the small lamps lit in windows. It’s a magic feeling to be moving through the world that seems like it has stopped for while. I’m thankful for this moment that I have just for myself. And I’m thankful for the game I can play. Handball gives me strength and doubts. It makes me often doubt about myself but it also forces me to go over the doubts, it brings moments when I feel pure joy just from the movement, just because I can. The game in its pure form takes me to another world where there are no bills to pay, deadlines to follow, conflicts to solve. I’m thankful that once many years ago I decided to join my friend at handball training and that my body cooperates and I still can,

I have been thinking recently and I decided to share. I was thinking about small things that can make one happy. And also about how can one make oneself happy. So two different approaches.

The previous “EVS” year, I had a collegue, who had learnt a slovak phrase “pekna si” = “U r pretty”. She used that phrase almost each time we met. It was a small insignificant joke which was actually pretty significant. It created good atmosphere each time. Another example would be from handball when one of my teammates welcomed each player who entered the sport hall in the beginning of the training with a sentence: ”Så kult att just DU är här” = “So cool that particularly YOU are here”. We all knew she repeated it for each and every one but each of us smiled and kept good mood for some time of the training. Again – it was a small thing, maybe even not really meant seriously, but still had a big impact. I think it’s each persons responsibility to be aware of the fact that we do have impact on others around us and we can actually make a day nice for someone. Everyday. Another question is whether we allow ourselves to be happy about small insignificant things and whether we allow others to make us happy.

And that leads me to another point. The first part of this blog was about what we can do for others or what others can do for us to make us happy or feel good. But one should be able to make oneself happy as well. Or find small things that can lighten up the day. When I was little I used be excited about such things like meeting a cute classmate in the school, going for a school trip, being so happy about presents I got that I took them to my bed so I could look at them untill I would fall asleep and then see them as soon I would open my eyes. I used to be happy about each new thing I had learnt that day and the happiness lasted for some time.Then later on at some point all those things became “normal”.  So I wonder. Do we need to long for something to be happy? And for how long does happiness caused by a saturated need last? Would I ever feel that happiness that will make me jump and smile around and dare to do whatever I feel for regardless the people around me if I had everything I needed? Like ever.With no new aims and needs? And when is it that an exciting experience becomes normal? Where is the line between normal and unusual in the frames of our routines?

I have just come home from the cinema. I watched “Fame”. I expected some dancing and singing. I got that. And I also got some thoughts to play with,  inspiration and the most important (to me) - I got into mood to chase for new dreams. Such feelings after watching a movie I like!

I recommend the movie!

So about the Brussels trip. The start was smooth. I slept through the whole flight (missed food which anyway was not vegetarian), landed safe and did not get my luggage. Hope dies last so I was waiting till the belt stopped and then went to report it to the company. To report that my luggage did not arrive and not that the belt stopped  The usual procedure took place, I left the address of my hotel, signed some papers and got to hear that the luggage might be there somewhere on the belt and that it happens that some bags just come like 10 – 15 minutes after the belt has already stopped. So I was waiting (not hoping really) for some 5 more minutes but then I just left otherwise I would be late for the meeting I was heading to. After the meeting, still without luggage, which was actually practical as I did not need to carry it, I went to my hotel. Was walking, it started rain a bit and then it rained more and more but it was not worth it to take some public transport for the rest of the route. Pretty soaked I reached the hotel, which turned to be not my hotel. The question was – which was my hotel then? Went through all the instructions emails and found another hotel mentioned in one of them. Just a name. So I googled (I am really happy with my iPhone) and found a phone number. No they did not have a reservation for my name, but they had booked room for me for the next night. Weird enough I was happy that I had roof for the next night but still wondering where to spent the night to come. After some time I found out I was not the only one and understood that there was  some major mistake done somewhere in communication but was sure it was about to get solved soon. It did =) After some time I got to know that there was actually a third hotel waiting for us to check in. Walking distance, though it rained, still did not have the luggage so just with google maps in my iPhone off  we went.  The hotel (the first one) promised to send my luggage ater me as soon as it would arrive. We happily reached to the right hotel, the receptionist had really fun since the booking was totally messed up and then on the top of everything, my luggage arrived to the address I left on the airport and the hotel did not have means to send it to my new “home” so I just had to turn and go back to pick it. But afterall, everything worked out well. Luggage came in one piece, I got a bed for that night, my roommate was pretty cool and the following two days were giving (but that´s another story) and I got my portion of belgian waffle with strawberries, chocolate and whipped cream. Kinda happy end =)

Remind me to blog about my Brussels trip =)