White Xmas vs Carl Jan

OK…I guess Carl Jan* will not sign the contract with him self in White Christmas campaign.

You know the saying that you will see who your friends are when you are in deep trouble. A campaign as White Xmas can also reveal a lot about people’s attitude to the world.

I have never seen a big deal with signing the campaign. OK I am sober anyway so of course I do not see a big deal but also for those who usually drink, I did not see it as a big deal. I mean – three days without alcohol for a good cause. If one is not alcohol addicted, it should be fine even for those who consider drinking a very pleasurable thing to do. There are so many other pleasant things to do and eat for Xmas. The tables hardly carry the amount of food people usually serve for Xmas. That a bottle of alcohol is missing should not be a huge problem. But it is. I realized it thanks to the campaign. And my knowledge about people in geneal got broaden =)

There could be a done a new study that would reveal people’s characters from a perspective of responses to solidarity acts. Some of the categories could be: selfish, defender, ignorant, apathist, warm heart, open mind and some more maybe. On the example of the White Xmas campaign, the descriptions could be:

Selfish – likes his/her glass of wine for Xmas or for any other occassion and does not care for the act of solidarity although s/he understands the consequences of drinking around children and understands the situation of children who instead of Xmas presents get a drunk parent they either have to take care of or hide from.

Defender – feels attacked by the campaign. Considers him/herself labeled as an alcoholic just because s/he was informed about the campaign and suggested to sign. Will fight for his/her right to drink since it is a tradition (as a general reason).

Ignorant – totally does not care for the impact of his/her behaviour on his/her surrounding. Everyone has a right to do with his/her life exactly whatever s/he decided to do. Does not even want to discuss. Does not need to explain him/herself and does not need to convince others to do one or another way.

Apathist – the world is so screwed up, that one person’s behaviour will not do.

Warm heart – as soon as s/he hears that someone tries to make the world a bit nicer for other people, s/he expresses the appreciation, takes the pen and wants to sign.  Will be happy to hear some more examples of the campaign activities, will happily nod and leave with smile on his/her face and a good cause on his/her mind.

Open mind – can consider to reconsider his/her behavior if s/he gets good examples and good reasons. Will not take the campaign as a personal attack against his/her alcohol consumption but will reflect on the message of the campaign and his/her own reasons for drinking during Xmas. Will either sign or not. Will leave with a new thought. 

———-

* Carl Jan is a swedish face who today discussed White Xmas and abstaining from alcohol for three Xmas days. He likes that young people in UNF are iniative and they can continue playing on the sand pit (little bit in that style)  BUT drinking is normal and mumsi so why he should stop for those three days if he has no problem with alcohol.

White Christmas is a campaign to create nice Christmas for children. There are many children (5 – 9 million in EU) who grow up with parents who abuse alcohol. The drinking turns home into the least safe place. Moreover, not just the alcohol abuse is a problem. Drinking of alcohol changes people’s behviour which causes insecurity in children. Some adults get “too” happy and come up with jokes children do not get, some smell pretty bad and some hug in a different way. The holidays of fairy tales turn into a riddle and insecurity for children. Xmas is mostly children’s holiday.White Xmas campaign encourages adults to abstain from alcohol for the three Xmas days.  We could all try to make childrens holiday as safe and as magic as possible.

Opportunists in XXL size. Congrats Commission!

We celebrated 20 years from the fall of the wall just recently. I was in Slovakia on 17th of November, the day when with the wall fell also a regime where people were limited, controlled and forbidden to express their opinion. The times of one party and only one opinion diminished. No regime of that kind is possible without people supporting it. There were many people in communist party. Some of them believed in it, some of them chose to join to live in peace and comfort and some of them just chose the power. Those who did not sign papers, who did not join the party and did not support the ideology, could not get to universitites, did not get proper education, were not accepted to jobs, were hindered from the basic securities that a state offers and their families ended up with the same consequences. I remember that my cousin could not get to any school in Slovakia because his father refused to sign.

On 17th of November 2009, 20 years after the revolution, we all got to hear speeches, read memoires, got invovled in the discussions about the day and its impact, we got to see theater pieces showing the happenings of that day. It should not be forgotten and also the generations that did not experience it, should get at least a feeling of how it developed.

The mood is various. Celebrations are in place but at the same time, there are many who claim that evethough the regime has changed and the world has opened, the people who were supporting the power of one party and allowed the cruelty on human beings, those remained in the system and in control. 

Just few days after the 20th anniversary I read in newspapers, that there will be four people from the previous regime represented in EU commission. Stefan Fule (Czech republic), Siim Kallas (Estonia), Andris Piebalgs (Latvia) and Maros Sevfcovic (Slovakia). I think it is a total disaster that those people get to go to EU and represent their countries. I think that they have done theirs already and have no position to enter the political space where democracy, solidarity, human rights and peoples involvement in society are valued. Why would they defend it now when they for decades worked against these values?  So how do we call this? Second chances? Adjustments? Flexibility? Opportunism? Yeah – call it whatever, but respect towards all those who fought for a change and for those who chose a “no” when “no” was not an option.

And Hansel said to Gretel: Let us drop these bread crumbs so that together we find our way home…

 because losing our way would be the most cruel thing.

Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But losing your reason for a journey is way more cruel. Sometimes I traveled alone. Sometimes there were others who took the wheel and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it was not me who arrived. It was not me at all. And once you lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely. Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you have been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are. (One Tree Hill, 2nd serie, last episode)

I saw this episode before I went home to Slovakia and it was very suitable for what I was going through. I do not feel I lost myself, but myself was missing parts of itself. And the journey home has brought them back together. The traveling from Berlin to Bratislava helped me to see the places that have formed me. Where I found my dreams, where I felt my drive. Being at home and meeting my family and friends made me feel it again. I felt (!!!) and not just knew who I was. 

People in my life have inspired me, some have changed my perspective, some made me laugh or cry, some made me think, some made me doubt, some made me believe, some made me swear, some made me fight, some made me give up, some made me to wish, some made me forget, some I forgot, some I remember, some are still on my mind, some are occupying my heart, some make my soul squeeze, some took my trust away, some gave me hopes, some played games with my emotions, some used me, some helped me, some where there for me, some made me regret, some made me thankful, some tried to stop me (some of them succeeded), some tried to ”restart” me (some of them succeeded), some made me feel rich, some made me feel empty, some made me wonder, some made me do wonders…

I could go on and go on and the list would be endless.

When I think of those few days at home in Slovakia and those people I spent the days with, I feel my whole history and I am thankful that I got them as a bonus to my life. We laugh, we talk serious, we are so different but still so close and I feel myself instead of just knowing who I am. These people made me strong and made my life pink for me. 

Merci, danke, tack, thanks a DAKUJEM =)

 

Faking reality

It’s been a month since I came home from the meeting of Secretary Generals from European Youth Forum organizations and since then I am carrying around a thought. We were discussing our demands from European Youth Forum, how should the European Youth Forum communicate towards the members  so there is also some response and how can we make things happen.

I think that it is important to have European Youth Forum. European Youth Forum represents the voice of young people and creates a path for them to have easier life. Simply spoken. BUT my question is: to what extend is the voice of European Youth Forum representative?

We (Active, European Youth Forum and similar bodies) say that young peole want to be involved, they want to have an impact on their future, they want to be able to influence, they want, they care, they do…

But is it really like that? I am not talking about the exceptions of course! We have a few people who enjoy sitting in the boards of organizations, who love to have opinions and fight for them, who believe that they can change something and also act upon that.

And then we have many young people who if you ask them, will say – yes of course I want to change something, I want to be involved etc. But inspite of those “needs” they count on others to fix that for them. They love to “delegate” their responsibility on few brave individuals who love reponsibility and love to have opinions. This is not really surprising in the democratic system as we have it in the Western world. People choose their representatives. But they also let the others to tell them what their opinion is.

And there we are – then we have a group of eager exceptions, who represent the voice of young people and say that young people want to be involved and want this or that. Which I consider just half truth seeing the reactions of young people when we give them the chance to do what they “told” us they want to do.

So I have been thinking. At this moment, the voice of young people comes from the “top of the pyramid”. The leaders do not listen very much to what the members actually want. Sometimes because they simply do not listen, sometimes because they do not understand and sometimes, because the members do not have demands. On the other hand, those who got a bit more involved and understand all the hierarchies and all the systems, have demands and have opinions, which is logical. Just that they are just few. Many demands are pretty artificial. Or not representative. 

So what to do with that?

PS Greetings to all the exceptions I talked about! I know you are out there =D

The Perishers – Pills

“One may think we’re alright
But we need pills to sleep at night
We need lies to make it through the day
We’re not okay

One may think we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground with every passing day
We’re not okay”

… I agree! If we need chemicals to be able to switch off the brain and not to have daymares when closing eyes, if we can not deal with memories or stress without some promiles in our blood then something is wrong and it’s time to stop for a while.

Inspired

Do not let your fire go out,spark by irreplaceable spark
in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved
and have never been able to reach.
The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible..
it’s yours!

Don’t let your hero perish

The text comes from One Tree Hill. Original Ayn Rand.

Whom/what to blame?

In todays newspaper I’ve read a short note from a study in which research discovered that culture (or where we are from) has an impact on our biological reaction. The reward system in brain reacts on different situations depending where the “owner” of the brain comes from. People in USA got rewarded by their dominant behaviour while the poeple in Japan activated the reward centre by inferior behaviour.  Brain rewards different patterns of behaviour in different cultures. Meaning (in this case)- we create what will or will not be rewarded.

When reading this, I think for myselef: ‘not really weird, since the culture teaches us how to behave and by which behaviour fit in the society’  We are encouraged to do one or another thing almost before we come to this world. I believe in social constructs and I do not take the biology for excuse. I was happy to read the article with many different examples where the biology and culture interfere. The author said: ..”we have a free will and power to choose ourselves despite our fast and automatic reactions”

Yes! We choose! We choose every minute of every day and we are responsible for the way we look at the world and what we do with it! We are not victims of either biology or culture.

About my relation to handball

I’m sitting in the bus on the way from a hanball match. We lost but we do not need to feel bad about our performance . From the time perspective it’s better to play matches at home. But it is also very nice to get some moments just for myself when sitting in the bus heading home from match we played in other town. It’s very calming to pass towns, to see how it’s getting darker and darker outiside, feel the eternity of nature, feel the atmosphere from the small lamps lit in windows. It’s a magic feeling to be moving through the world that seems like it has stopped for while. I’m thankful for this moment that I have just for myself. And I’m thankful for the game I can play. Handball gives me strength and doubts. It makes me often doubt about myself but it also forces me to go over the doubts, it brings moments when I feel pure joy just from the movement, just because I can. The game in its pure form takes me to another world where there are no bills to pay, deadlines to follow, conflicts to solve. I’m thankful that once many years ago I decided to join my friend at handball training and that my body cooperates and I still can,

Phrase of the day

People do not want to be compassionate very often. They want to be right instead. (Karen Armstrong at TED talks)

Phrase of the day or About communication

I was watching TED talks for breakfast and found one by a scientist who was looking into understanding others peoples minds. She introduced the presentation with the following sentence that has gotten directly into my heart:

I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant. (Alan Greenspan)

It´s good to keep smth like that on mind when we are talking to each other. I am that kind of talker who is able to say things in one sentence (ok in few). I have no need to talk a lot though I have learnt that one sentence (perfectly understandable to me) is not enough for all the people listening to me. So I put some effort into my performance and try to use more words and sentences bringing more details into the daylight. Keeping the quotation on my mind, I think I will have more fun developing what I want to say when trying to deliver a message.