Avatar – I am impressed

I have seen Avatar. I guess I am one of the few ones who have seen it so late. But now I did and I am very happy I did. 

Except of the fact that it looked beautiful it also carried a message that brought that seed of inspiration. Do you know the feeling when a movie ends and you do not want to leave the cinema and you wait for something more to come after all the names and titles that roll so fast that it is impossible to read? And then there is usually nothing more to see and you have to go home with the need to do something about the feeling. So I am writing…

I cried like half of the movie. I guess it is not the usual reaction on the movie, but yes I did. Sometimes I cried out of deep impression by the beauty of the picture, sometimes I did because of the words about the greatness of  life I got to hear and sometimes I cried because of cruelty that was shown in the movie. I cried because I felt that it was not a fantasy. I knew that right at the moment when I was sitting in the cinema being amazed, somewhere else there are wars that do not need to be fought. That there are blinded soldiers “marching” in the mission to take something what is not theirs and won’t be theirs. That there are people who do not want to look under surface and it is their consciouss decision not to do it. I felt that I do not like that kind of world where fair play is an unknown word.

I was impressed by the message of the movie and by the magic of art. I hope it will reach far!

Our limited story telling OR fair play

Power of words. An expression that is pretty known. But as much as it is known, it is not really reflected otherwise we would be much careful with what we are telling. I have been thinking about reality and about how we create it not by our actions but by what we speak out  (which is actually also an action). I have experienced several situations recently where I got to hear only one side of the story but the “story teller” was convinced about the correctness of dealing with it not giving chance to the others who are part of the story to present their side. And I wonder how people dare to do something like that. And I also wonder how people who listen to it can just take it as a “carrot”. I think this is dangerous. And the snow ball just rolls untill we do not know where it comes from. But it is there and it does its harm.

I can understand that everyone has his/her own truth. The very own experience is often “holy” but I wonder what to do so people are able to stop, count to three, forget their own ego for a while, lose the need to defend it all the time (the ego will be just fine), see the other perspective and stop telling stories which are not complete and won’t get chance to be completed to the third party that has nothing to do with the story.

I really wonder…  

*this entry might seem like I have been hurt and am crying my heart out, but it is actually not like that. I am doing just fine and this is my general wondering based on observation

Pursue your passion

I copy pasted this from a good friend of mine. Enjoy and read her blog sometimes! She has a lot to tell!

PURSUE YOUR PASSION (Kirk Nugent)

This is your life,
Your purpose on this Earth is not to please me.
Nor is it to fulfil your parents unrealized dreams.
You were not placed here to make concessions so that they could be proud,
So they could brag about their seed,
Fulfil some unfulfilled childhood emotional need
Let them be proud of their very own deeds
This is your life!
I came to shine light into the dark
And like a dog against a hydrant, I am leaving my mark!
We were not sent here to invest in someone else’s idea of what we should be
The complacent life does not stimulate me.
So forgive me if I feel no compassion
For those poor souls who live to follow the fashion.
Because if you want to live a life that’s neither limited nor ration,
Then by God you must pursue your passion.
They will tell you that it can’t be done
As though you were delivered unto this world for your song to go unsung.
Let the world scream that unattainable theme
But for you, there is no such thing as an impossible dream.
Ain’t no mystery, check the history
Examine the life of Oprah Winfrey,
Muhammad Ali, Mahatma Gandhi.
Remember what they told Walt Disney?
They said, “Young man you must be blind
You must have lost your rodent loving mind!
No one would ever pay to be entertained by a mouse
Or anything of that kind.”
Now Disney is worth more than everyone in this room…combined!
Pursue your passion!
Steven Spielberg was kicked out of the University of Southern California
Film School because his grades weren’t good enough.
Pursue your passion!
Russell Simmons refused to sign Madonna
Because he thought she had no talent.
Pursue your passion!
Brandy’s teacher told her she was too ugly to be an actress.
Pursue your passion!
Bill Cosby used to shine shoes in front of Temple University.
Pursue your passion!
Michael Jordan was benched on his basketball team in High school
Pursue your passion!
Larry Bird was benched his entire freshman year of college.
Pursue your passion!
Here is proof that greatness is born out of zero doubt
In 1962 Decca Records dismissed four young musicians
Told them that groups with guitars were on their way out.
They left without a contract
But refused to walk on pins and needles
Months later they released their first album
And called themselves, “The Beatles”
Pursue your passion!
Colonel Sanders was 65 when he fried his first piece of chicken,
Made millions after he convinced us that it was finger lickin’.
Pursue your passion!
Lauren Hill was booed at the Apollo
Pursue your passion!
Luther Vandross was booed off the Apollo
Not once, not twice, but three times!
You’ve got to keep coming back ladies and gentlemen.
Forget the limitations set by your fellow man,
Because when you pursue your passion,
Provision will be provided for your plan!
Let others lead small lives, but not you.
Let others be satisfied with the crumbs, but not you.
Let others sit around and be chronic complainers, but not you.
Let others be volunteers victims, but not you!
Let others be imprisoned by their fears, but not you.
Let others use their race, their gender,
Their sexual orientation as a crutch, but not you.
Let others be concerned about what the neighbors
Might think, say or do. but this is not for you!
Leave that for the politicians, the governors,
Start caring about other people’s opinion
And you’ll become their prisoner.
This is about a lifestyle that uniquely fits.
Life is God’s gift to you,
Style is what you make out of it.
Whatever you’re passionate about, the perfection of that craft can be learned
So with the obstacles of this world be not concerned
Because if you set yourself on fire
The world will come watch you burn.
So now that you know that impossible is a word
Found in the dictionary of fools.
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do with the rest of your life?
What two things do you want said about you when you die?
I never listened to what the pessimists are telling me
Because I know that the richest place on the planet is the cemetery.
There you will find books that were never written,
Loved ones that were never forgiven,
Ideas that were smitten
And dreams that were forbidden.
Soil that was never tilled, cathedrals that were never built!
Restaurants that were never opened
Chefs that never knew they were smoking.
Paintings that were never drawn nor hung,
Songs that were neither composed nor sung
Souls that never acted on what they really wanted to do
So don’t you dare die with your greatness buried within you!
The sperm that fertilized your egg
Survived the odds of 400 million to one.
Get it? Your sperm won!
As long as you live, you will never face such dramatic odds,
Now tell me that ain’t proof you’re favored by God.
You’re greater than any obstacle that can make you hysterical
So don’t you dare leave without your miracle.
It’s all an illusion, don’t you invest in their lies
Their forecast of economic woes and financial demise.
The Universe has an infinite supply, so no need to lie when I testify
That regardless of the economy, you cannot be denied!
It matters not if they raise the terrorist threat level
To hot pink, burgundy or fuchsia
You were born to control your future!
Don’t let ‘em fool you.
You were born to win, destined to be great
Magnificence was chiseled into your heart,
When God made you he was just showing off!
Discover your divine assignment and you’ll have no reason to retreat
Discover your passion and you’ll laugh in the face of defeat.
Indifferent to the pressures felt and you do not buckle like a belt.
Declare today that you refuse to lose
Because you can either live your dreams,
Or you can live your excuse!
So even when I’m old and grey,
I’ll still be commanding the stage,
Words still be smoking off the page.
So understand…this ain’t no phase!
Because everyday I learn a new lesson,
My best poem has yet to be written
And I’m not leaving until what I came to give has been given.
99 on the mic and I’ll still be spittin’
Still be rippin’
Still be giving
Still be driven
So let my tombstone read:
Here lies Kirk and he died…LIVING

Sweden these days

Except of the fact that it is snowing a lot and that public transport is a huge riddle none can count on, there are several inventions in this country that make Sweden:

Informative

..for both cars and pedistrians

IKEA has new goods to offer

...such as curtains that can serve as decoration or..

...as fence strengthener

Simply said it is very hospitable here

But the MOST IMPORTANT is.. it's beautiful these days

Secret about Santa revealed

Many Santa Clauses

Now I know how Santa manages everything in one night/day. There are  actually many of them. And after the Xmas day, they all sleep here. Yes..exactly here on this tree in Örebro.

Santas' house

Pieces have fallen into the place

I am happy with my life. When I am trying to comprehend why, I think it is because I understand it and the things I do are my choice. I guess you have heard the sentence: “You are the master of your life”  These days it’s true! Eventhough there is a lot do to, deadlines are knocking on the door and new tasks are streaming in, it still feels under control and as my own decision. My brain is set on productivity-mode these days. First it was the booklet on Gender (which is expected to be published latest in June), then the booklet of Content matters which I am  still incredibly proud of and now the Content matters book is finalized and being designed.

Writing and creating is complemented by the real activities, with real people =) In the weekend I held a lecture and activities on teambuilding. I enjoyed it so much! It feels like the pieces of a big puzzle are falling into the place. Like everything I have learnt and I studied and experienced is now being put into use finally. That is a great feeling! Fullfilling.  So I will just thankfully hold on to it =)

The work is rolling just fine!

The more quiet I am  here in my blog, the more I talk beyond the borders of the virtual world. Or talk is not the best word. Express myself would be a better one. In my free time of the latest days was my attention directed towards the Gender booklet that I managed to finalize and even design (will be published in June), then I dealt with correcting the draft paper on rehabilitiation and then I was at the IOGT International meeting in Göteborg. Inspite of very little sleep and lots of work, I came to the office today ready to get hold of all the reports, applications, bills and planning.

It’s easy to work and enjoy work when I am surrounded by people who also work or help to “prolong the arms” of my work. Like Janika doing her tasks on time and with precision, Saska fixing everything regarding the postage of Content matters material from Slovakia and keeping eye on the practical arrangements of the coming Active seminar in Slovakia, Emina getting new enthusiastic people who help with or participate in our activities, Madlena and Gaffe preparing the job interview with me and last but not least the volunteers on Faroe Islands – Sten, Martin and Fanny starting new activities, running already established activities and helping with coodination of our new Nordic project. Those speaking swedish, you can follow them here: www.fo512.dusten.se

Knowing that, it’s totally OK to sit here and search among old bills, do several tasks at once, thinking about future activities and evaluating the activities from the past! Moreover a new volunteer is coming to the Active office so from wednesday, we are 3!  

Me like!!!

About my 2009 – about people, books, songs and impressions

I needed some days to sum up my year 2009. That year was full of changes and of cleaning up in my life. It was also a year of handball – when I felt I grew as a handball player and when I had to quit the game I love because I could not accept the values my team and coaches had. And I really could not carry and tolerate the mobbing that was going on in our team and the way the leaders were closing eyes for that. I lived with that for 2,5 years. Felt incredibly alone, but blaming myself for the problems and for the “wrong” perspective. There were some light moments or I tried to close my eyes and heart to avoid the picture for the sake of the game, but when it interfered with my integrity, when I started to doubt myself, it was time to say bye bye to the game and to the “teammates” and coaches. I did that on the day of my birthday. It was my present to myself – to stop worrying every day because of something that is supposed to be free time activity and fun, relax. So I did. And if felt liberating.

 It was the  year of travelling. I did not travel only because of my work, but I travelled to my soulmate, to my childhood, to my self and with my loved ones. The trip to London in May 09 took me to my soulmate who I consider my angel =)  We walked and walked and walked around the city and I took pics from all the possible angles. In November I travelled to Slovakia. I met my friends from the Secondary School and from Kindergarten. I got to play basketball like in old times and renewed contact with a friend I always cared a lot for. He is very inspiring, because when he decides to do something (does not matter what it is) – he does it 100%. And then meeting the girls I celebrated countless birthday parties with, shared good and sad moments during our teenage years  – the “reunion” was like water for a flower =) I was a new person when I came back to Sweden again =) And the trip to Italy just before the end of 2009 was a totally new experience for me. I have learnt how to snowboard and I met several amazing people who I laughed a lot with. I laughed so much that I had pain in my belly. The Xmas course/seminar was a very strong experience for me, where I got better understanding of people and of myself.

The book of 2009 (I got from the angel I mentioned already). “Eat, pray, love” written by Elisabeth Gilbert. Entertaining, eyes opening, makes me reflect, makes me feel good, makes me to have new dreams plus a new favourite author =)

Based on the book and inspired by the TV serie One Tree Hill, I created a picture, that reflects what I wanted to live and I wish to all the people: “Protect your joy”

I chose the way of honesty in relationships and I chose to be surrounded only by people who I respect and accept and I can trust . I quit some contacts (symbolically on Facebook and some literally) with those who dissapointed me. I have no bad feelings about them but it gave me real freedom. I felt I can choose the life I want to live. 

I found my way back to playing piano, to drawing and to photography.  I found the slowly disappearing joy about little things around me, I felt again amazement about a nice song, about the peaceful road between my work and home, about Dante’s calm look and about friends’ presence. I have after many many years felt real joy when running. I am not talking about satisfaction after running. Being happy about the length or speed of it. I am talking about real joy during the running. Now I run without aim to improve my time, without hope that it will make me faster in handball, without picture of scoring and without bitter memories from handball trainings.. I run just to run. In the moment.

I found new dreams and goals and I created a new symbol for myself  ”Dare to dream”

There are several quotations that directed my life in 2009. I have mentioned them here and there in this blog but I can sum them up again:

And Hansel said to Gretel: let us drop these bread crumbs so that together we find out way home because losing our way would be the most cruel thing. Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But losing your reason for a journey is way more cruel. Sometimes I traveled alone. Sometimes there were others who took the wheel and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it was not me who arrived. It was not me at all. And once you lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely. Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you have been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are. (One Tree Hill, 2nd serie, last episode)

Do not let your fire go out,spark by irreplaceable spark
in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved
and have never been able to reach.
The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible..
it’s yours! (One Tree Hill, original: Ayn Rand)

At this moment there are 6 470  818  671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are comming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil of man that won’t do good and some are good struggling the evil. 6 billion people in the world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes all you need is one (One Tree Hill)

And some songs of the year 2009: Gin Wigmore - Hallelujah; Kate Voegele - Lift me up; The Perishers - Sway; The Perishers - Pill; Switchfoot – Dare you to move

Yes..it was a year full of happening and personal changes. Am happy about it. And I am looking fwd to 2010. With the experience from 2009 in my pocket, I believe that the next one will be just fine =)

At work

These days are totally filled by work and preparations for the Xmas course in Italy. The bills are paid, the invoices are sent, the To-Do things are getting less and less, will have one of the last meetings this afternoon. Sten, Sara, Martin and Fanny will come to plan the work in NORDGU. I like when we (as organisation) have something concrete to offer and this time we really do: A chain exchange in Nordic countries - Norway, Faroe, Sweden, Iceland! And yes – Iceland! It feels like it’s their turn to have volunteers, have regular activities and become a strong organisation!  

And on the top of everything - Active got a seminar for October 2010 approved! What a day! =)

Take a walk with me…

…through the beauty I have seen…